By Jaiya Ma

This piece was specially written for the Tony Robbins blog by world-renowned sex expert Jaiya Ma.I wanted to share it here. Viv B

How many books have you read on business? On personal growth? Chances are – many.

Now, how many books have your read on sex and erotic passion? Not as many? You’re not alone. If you’ve ever read Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, then you are familiar with the importance of your sexuality in awakening latent genius. Consciously understanding how to cultivate and utilise sexual energy is key to any type of success; when you are unconscious of how you’re using your sexual energy, it can end in a lot of unpleasant situations, not to mention that increasing your sexual awareness can lead to deeper connection and fulfilment in your romantic life.

So why haven’t you given yourself an education in sexuality and erotic pleasure?

Sure, many people have had plenty of formal sex education. But what did your culture teach you about sex and pleasure? About your identity and what you should or shouldn’t like or do? How great a job did your school do at teaching you what you like, or what others might like? What did your parents teach you (hint: even their silence taught you something)? What did romantic movies teach you? What did your religion teach you? Your peers?

Many of us may have been taught to suppress our desires and avoid erotic pleasure. This could have been in an effort to keep us safe growing up, because of religious reasons or simply because our parents didn’t know how to talk to us about sex. Unfortunately, this suppression may have led to limiting beliefs about erotic passion and that exploring sexuality was wrong or shameful.

Still, whether you’ve learned about sex through your culture, education or conversations with your family, you’ve had sex education – but how much do you understand about your sexuality?


Great sex education doesn’t shame you; it doesn’t shame other people, either. Learning about erotic pleasure helps you to make great choices, to honour yourself and others and to create the freedom to explore and experiment safely.

A great sex education leads to great sex, a better understanding of yourself and a deeper connection with your partner. Because when you know your body, you can communicate what you like – and thus increase satisfaction. And when you know a partner’s body, you have more confidence that you can please them, which ultimately deepens the bond you share.

Also, when you understand who you are erotically, you avoid feeling broken and you know what will turn you on. When you have clear boundaries and can communicate them with a partner, you keep yourself safe emotionally and physically. When you don’t have shame, you are freer to be who you are: someone who is sexually gratified, cultivates erotic passion and gets deeper joy and pleasure out of life. And when you are enjoying sex at this level, you have richer, more satisfying relationships and connections, which equates to more success in this world.


Who you seek as a mentor for advancing your sex education is very important. There are a lot of great sexuality educators out there, but I’ve also seen mentors who shame people or give poor advice.

A fantastic mentor can teach you not only the geeky educational materials but can also create transformation in your life when it comes to erotic pleasure. They can help you find your sexual style and understand what it takes to build a lasting, fulfilling bond with a partner. Make sure to do your research and to seek out the best.

📷 Vivien Burke – Sex Coach and Erotic Blueprint™ Coach

Get a comprehensive education and be sure to implement what you learn. Information alone does not equal transformation in this area, you must take what you learn and put it into action.

Mastering any skill comes from learning and implementing distinctions, and this is especially true when it comes to your new sexual education. A great place to begin mastering distinctions about what turns you on is mastering the Erotic Blueprints™.