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WHY SEX TIPS AREN’T HELPING COUPLES TO HAVE BETTER SEX


by Jaiya Ma | Nov 16, 2019 | Healing |


​It’s all over the media, from every magazine cover to mainstream advertising.

We blog about it, read about it, and know 100 different positions to have it in.


Why then are so many couples dissatisfied with their sex lives? A recent survey by Harvard University found that 40% of women were dissatisfied when it came to sex, yet these women have access to tips galore from every major women’s magazine.

Why isn’t the latest and greatest article or book offering sex advice helping couples have more satisfying sex lives?


I have part of the answer. I work with a wide array of clients in my private practice. They come seeking a solution to their sexual problems, and many of them aren’t having sex at all. What many of the sex tip columns and “how to” books fail to address is the whole picture. This leaves couples feeling like failures when they try that hot new technique and it doesn’t produce results.

What’s keeping you from having the best sex ever?


The Four Obstacles to Sexual Wellness and Pleasure:

Obstacle One: Bio-Mechanics (Flexibility, Body Pain, and Function)


Have you ever wanted to try that position from the Kama Sutra, but your body just won’t bend that way?


Or what about that position that hits the G-spot but your partner’s knees just can’t take it? Couples often feel like failures when they can’t bend, stretch or move in certain ways. Even more of a turn off is when your body is in pain. Pain inhibits your sexual desire. Scar tissue is the most overlooked physical blocks to sexual pleasure.

Ask yourself- Have I had any infections (bladder, yeast), any surgeries, traumas (falls, childbirth), or inflammation? These are all causes of adhesions or scar tissue in the body. Scar tissue can have a massive effect on your sex life from  inability to engorge with blood (erection) to loss of sensation.


Obstacle Two: Biochemistry (Your Brain, Hormones and Blood)

Your B-Spot (Brain) is your biggest sexual organ, but what happens when the chemistry just isn’t there? Why is sex so hot at the beginning of a relationship but fades with time? Why does that hot new Cosmo technique have you soaring, but you do it again and it lets you down?


The answer: Biochemistry.

We are complex creatures and our hormones affect us in big ways. For example, if you are breastfeeding you have a hormonal cocktail in your system designed to decrease your libido. And I haven’t even touched on blood, which, when toxic, can keep you from arousing fully.


Obstacle Three: Bio-Energetic

We are bio-energetic before we are anything else.

Our systems are made up of energy. We emit energy and we’re affected by the energies that surround us.Some of us are profoundly affected by things like fluorescent lighting, wi-fi signals and cell phone tower signals, electrical wires and the energies of other people. Even if you can’t feel it, you are affected by these frequencies and they could be having a profound effect on how you feel on a moment by moment basis. Do you have a TV in your bedroom? Do you keep your cell phone on the bedside table when you sleep? It’s great to clear out as much of this electromagnetic influence as you can in areas where you want to promote electromagnetic health, peace and calm in your system. There are products called grounding mats that connect you directly to the earth through the grounding socket in your home plugs. If you’re sensitive to these electromagnetic influences, these products can help you immensely.